Scooby Snacks
by Ephemeral-Nightboy
Summary: A collection of random ideas and one-shots for Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
1. Foreword

This story is (or will be) a collection of unrelated one-shot _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ fics.

| Joss Whedon is like _so_ of the good. |

**SCOOBY SNACKS**

Some chapters will be crossovers, some won't. Ratings will vary.

Feel free to steal any of my ideas you find in here for fics of your own.

Have fun and enjoy!


	2. Apotheosis

**Apotheosis**

* * *

"Harken well ye Elements, I summon thee now."

"Control the outside. Control within."

"Land and Sea. Fire and Wind."

"Out of my passions, a web be spun."

"From this eve forth, my will be done."

* * *

Willow sat on her bed, looking at herself in her hand mirror. She opened her mouth to speak, but hesitated. Maybe she ought to test it on something simpler. Setting the mirror down, she grabbed a book off her nightstand and mentally reviewed her research on the ritual she'd performed.

Willow concentrated on the book, and firmly stated, "**This book is reading itself aloud.**"

"_Introduction: Just what is a spell? To answer that question, one must first understand the hidden complexities in even the simplest concepts. Put most simply, casting a spell is the act of bartering with an external source to handle the physical details that a witch cannot hold in her mind on her own..._"

Willow's face lit up with glee as a motherly feminine voice, presumably the author of the book, emanated from the pages. "**This book is normal and silent,**" she stated, and the voice stopped.

"Nifty!" Willow said, but her face fell as she remembered why she'd cast the spell in the first place.

Willow picked up her mirror and looked at herself. "Okay..." Deep breath. "**My heart is healed.**"

Nothing happened. Willow thought about Oz, and the pain struck at her no different than before. Why hadn't it worked... maybe it was literal? Like, if she'd been having a heart attack, that would have healed her? Hmm.

Willow looked at her reflection and firmly stated, "**I am finished grieving for Oz.**"

A rush of warmth flowed through her chest, and a tension in her just _released_. She reviewed her memories of Oz, dwelling on the good times... and smiled with fond nostalgia. She started to giggle. It actually worked! She'd need to watch her metaphors though.

Willow suddenly sat bolt upright. "Oh crap! That spell for Giles!"

Digging the bag of ingredients out of her footlocker, Willow threw her door open and hurried out into the hall... and promptly collided with something tall and tweedy. "Ooph."

"Oh, Willow, I was just coming to look for you," Giles said.

Willow winced. "Right. The truth spell! I was on my way to go do it right now."

"Oh. Very well. Would you like a ride?" Giles asked.

Willow suddenly grinned and grabbed Giles' arm. "I've got a better idea. **We are in Giles' apartment.**"

* * *

Spike startled when Willow and Giles materialized out of thin air. The watcher and the witch looked around, Giles' pulling his glasses off with a pained grimace while Willow looked very pleased with herself.

"You're lookin' perky today, Red," Spike muttered.

Giles finished polishing his glasses and put them back on, giving Willow a look. "I don't suppose you took notice of the implication that my car was present on the campus?"

Willow winced. "I can fix that! **Giles' car is parked in its normal place outside Giles' apartment.** There, no problem!" Willow beamed.

"Yes, thank you, now _what exactly have you done_, Willow?" Giles demanded.

"Oh, well, I did a spell. Um, last night. To work my will," Willow explained. "It seems to work. In fact..."

Willow gave Spike a look that made him very uncomfortable. "We don't need the truth spell anymore. Spike! **You shouldn't lie to us.**"

Spike sagged. "I haven't been. I wasn't paying much attention to where I was when I escaped. Bit busy with the escaping part, you know. I was scared."

Giles started polishing his glasses again while Spike folded his arms defensively. "Willow, I'm not sure it is advisable for you to be channeling such potent magics right now. Your energies are too unfocused."

Willow pouted. "Giles, **my energies are perfectly focused.**" She blinked. "Oh, um, oops."

"Oops?" Giles repeated with a sigh.

"No no! Not oops! I mean, I didn't mean to do it, but I did and its a good thing, like you were just saying." Willow's gaze went distant. "I can feel the spell now, too. Ooh, I think I can see how it invokes generalized personifications of the classical elements, and... oh, okay, so maybe you were right, but I'm okay now! I should even be able to keep from invoking the magic accidentally, by manipulating the invocation channel directly, 'cause that's simple enough, and I can use this safely. I mean if I want anything I say comes true, and there's all kinds of things I could say, and oh gosh, it really is a good thing you made me say the thing about my energies 'cause what if I wasn't paying attention and said something horribble, it could have been horrible, and then I would have been of the making everyone sad and frowny and mad at me and that's so not of the good..."

"Do remember to breathe, Willow," Giles said gently.

Willow smiled sheepishly. "Right, but I think this is a good thing, Giles."

"Be that as it may, I would still advise you to be very, very careful, Willow," Giles told her.

Willow nodded seriously.

* * *

"So now Giles is letting Spike walk around, and we're back to square one on the commando guys," Buffy said.

"Well, at least my last spell is working like I wanted," Willow pointed out as she stroked a finger over Amy the Rat's back. "Giles wants me to be careful, and yeah, but this is big time super mojo-y stuff I've got now." Willow stopped, staring at Amy the Rat. "Wait a minute..."

"Wills?" Buffy prompted.

Willow concentrated. "**Amy Madison is a human girl.**"

With a ripple of orange light, the form of the rat shot out in all directions, and a moment later there was a naked girl sitting on Willow's bed. Willow looked away before the squiggly warm feeling in her gut, that was definitely nothing other than properly modest embarrassment, could get too serious.

"Amy!" Buffy exclaimed, grabbing her spare bathrobe and putting it around Amy's shoulders.

"Amy? Are you alright?" Willow asked.

Amy looked at each of them, and down at her unsteady hands. "I... I'm... me...? Again?"

Willow nodded energetically.

"Way to go Wills!" Buffy congratulated.

* * *

Amy was a bit shellshocked at how long she'd been of the ratly persuasion, so she didn't get involved with the scoobies right away, but that was okay because Willow, it seemed, could make nearly anything happen. It was ludicrous, the power she could now command from a simple spell.

"Guys, I really think I should try this," Willow said. "It could change the face of slaying forever."

"It's too dangerous, Willow," Giles insisted. "Do you have any idea of the power you're talking about invoking? You're not ready for it, Willow. Channeling that much magic, you could easily go insane, and then, then... explode."

"Whoa, explode?" Xander cut in. "Willow, I don't want you to explode."

"Yeah, Wills, I appreciate the thought, really, but it's too big a risk," Buffy added.

"Okay, okay," Willow grumbled.

Xander gave her a hug, and Willow felt a flare of guilt for lying, but it was just something she had to try. "Guys? **Every evil vampire in the world is on fire right now.** Heheh. Psyke?"

"Willow!" "Wills!" "Willow!"

Willow swayed on her feet, as the room was suddenly pulsing and swaying. "Hehehe... pretty... colors..." Willow fell into a boneless heap in Buffy's arms.

* * *

"Are you sure you're okay, Wills?" Buffy asked for the thousandth time.

"Things are still a bit pussy - I mean pulse-y, and bendy, but its getting better, I promise," Willow said.

"Everything's gonna be different now, I guess," Buffy said, shaking her head with a smile. "I can't believe that actually worked. I _really_ can't believe Spike isn't evil."

"Maybe it was a fluke, 'cause of the chip?" Willow suggested.

"We can only hope," Buffy said wryly.

"Hey, don't you have somewhere to be?" Willow remembered.

"Huh? Oh! Riley! He's taking me driving in... oh crud, ten minutes," Buffy said, rushing for the closet.

* * *

"Have fun!" Willow called after Buffy as the latter rushed out of their dorm room.

Willow reminisced about Oz. It really didn't hurt anymore, but it was still kinda sucky that she was undatable girl again... but maybe she could do something about that. Willow got up off her bed and sat down at the vanity mirror. She closed her eyes, and put her fingers to the glass.

"Okay, so, **when I look into this mirror, I will see the face of my most perfect love-type match,**" Willow stated.

Willow looked, and saw a curvy blonde girl dressed in a t-shirt and panties. A curvy blonde girl who looked back at her and scrambled away from her mirror with a gasp.

"Eeep!" Willow exclaimed. "That wasn't supposed to happen!"

Squiggly gooey feelings formed in her middle as Willow's eyes ran down the girls body against her will. The blonde girl was holding a small pillow in front of her like a shield, but lowered it slowly as she got a good look at Willow.

"Um... h-h-hi?" she said nervously.

"Hi?" Willow squeaked. "I'm sorry! I can explain! I was... uh... see it was... I was trying to... but I didn't..." Willow trailed off.

The blonde girl took a hesitant step forward. "I c-c-can feel an en-enchantment. A-a-are you a w-wi-witch?"

Willow blinked, and went from panicky to a mix of intrigued and contrite. "Oh, um, yeah. I am. I was trying to do a spell on my mirror, but, it uh, must have gone wrong. You can feel the magics?"

The curvy blonde girl nodded, a nervous smile flickering across her lips. "I l-learned to see auras wh-when I was v-very young."

Willow smiled. "Neato. Uh, oh, I'm Willow. Is my name. I really didn't mean to make a scrying portal type thing like this, though."

"Tara," the girl said, sitting back down in front of the mirror. "I'm T-Tara. W-wh-what _were_ you t-trying to do?"

Willow suddenly blushed. "I was... trying to make my mirror show me who my best possible boyfriend was."

Tara gave her a shy grin. "Mirror mirror on the wall..."

Willow cracked up. "That was sorta the idea, only, you know, without the bitchy witchy badness."

"Oh," Tara acknowledged, wringing her hands. "But instead of a boy it sh-sh-showed you m-me. A g-girl." _Do you think maybe it didn't go wrong after all?_ Tara couldn't summon the courage to ask.

Willow laughed nervously, chewing her lip. "Yeah... I don't know..." Willow went silent for a moment. "You want to, you know, maybe help me figure out why?"

A grin snuck its way onto Tara's face in fits and starts as she shyly nodded.

* * *

_Can't even shout. Can't even cry. The Gentlemen are coming by..._

* * *

Willow clung to Tara's hand as they ran through the halls towards Tara's dorm room, the straight-jacket clad faerie creatures hounding their steps. Willow had tried to will the creatures dead, but even though she and Tara had figured that with enough practice she wouldn't need the words, Willow wasn't there yet and without her voice she was nearly helpless.

Tara had a book that might help, but they'd been hanging out in Willow's room, and the book was in Tara's, so now they were running for their lives.

Willow tripped as they were running down a staircase, twisting her ankle. Tara helped her into a nearby laundry room. They tried to barricade the door with a vending machine, but it was too heavy to push, and Willow collapsed, clutching her ankle.

Tara got her attention and squeezed her hand, and Willow felt the flow of pure magic join them. They turned as one and the vending machine flew across the room, slamming firmly up against the door.

Willow and Tara looked at each other as they caught their breath, so close, so united in magic and in the moment of fear giving way to relief. Willow realized she was done fooling herself. Her spell hadn't gone wrong at all. Tara was lovely and in her arms and who cared if she was a girl?

Gently, Willow's lips met Tara's, and it was sweet and hot and thrilling.

* * *

"W-Willow? I th-think its over," Tara said some time later.

"Hey yeah! We can talk again!" Willow grinned.

"Are you o-okay?" Tara asked. "Your ankle."

Willow looked at her leg. "**I am in perfect health.**"

Willow stood up and hopped a few times. "Yep, all better." She frowned consideringly. "In fact... **I will always be in perfect health, and so will Tara.**"

Tara's eyes went wide. "W-Willow? Are you s-sure you can handle that?"

"I feel okay," Willow said, helping Tara up. "Hey, you and me... are we...?"

"Do you w-w-want...?" Tara asked.

Willow smiled. "Is that okay?"

"Oh yes," Tara breathed.

With a thrilled giggle, Willow wound her arms around Tara's waist and kissed her again.

* * *

Willow looked at Buffy intently. "Buffy, **you are invincible.**"

* * *

Willow stared down the barels of a large number of large guns. "Boys, **your guns are jammed.**"

* * *

"Adam, **you don't want to hurt me. You don't want to hurt anyone.**"

* * *

"You could totally do the same spell, Tara," Willow told her girlfriend. "You could be all with the will-it-so, just like me!"

Tara hesitated. "I don't know, Willow. It's not just the invocation. I don't think I'm forceful enough to make it work."

Willow gave her a soft kiss. "You've got willpower, baby. I know you could do it."

"I'll think about it, okay?" Tara conceded.

* * *

"**Joyce Summers is in perfect health,**" Willow stated. "And you know what? **Humans are always in perfect health.**"

"Willow!" several people exclaimed as the red-headed witch toppled into Buffy's arms.

* * *

The scoobies watched the news slack-jawed.

"...and this miracle is confirmed to be happening all over the globe. Elderly men and women the world over have regressed to their prime, and hospitals are closing down as patients spontaneously recover..."

* * *

"Okay, so there's one more big thing I need to do, 'cause I did the other thing, but I promise this is probably the last time you'll have to worry about loopy magic-overload-y me, okay?" Willow said.

The scoobies reluctantly nodded.

Willow laid down in advance this time, her head pillowed on Tara's bosom, and stated. "**Humans do not get pregnant unless they really want to.**"

Her eyes flashed with power.

* * *

Willow stepped back to a safe distance as Tara sat down in the circle.

"Harken well ye Elements, I summon thee now."

"Control the outside. Control within."

"Land and Sea. Fire and Wind."

"Out of my passions, a web be spun."

"From this eve forth, my will be done."


End file.
